Mother pucker

We're a lip gloss sharing kinda office. Last week's new find was Darphin's pigmented lip balm which went down a treat. This week, a pink tube of goop inscribed Sexy Mother Pucker gets passed to me.
"Here! Try this!" pouts J, an assistant on a glossy mag's site.
"You have to try it, put on lots!" she grinned as I daubed the wand over my pout, layering on the sticky stuff.
"It's really weird, it makes your lips tingle."
Hmm. It did as well. And not just tingle - as the sensation set in my lips felt like they were being eaten alive by hot maggots. To put it mildly.
Sexy Mother Pucker, by Soap and Glory, is one of those bee sting lip plumping glosses that claim to give you an Angelina Jolie mouth in moments. I didn't think I could wait that long and fled to the toilets grabbing a handful of paper towels to scrub the gloss off (in absence of gentle cleanser perfect for said job, of course). I paused in front of the mirror and the most horrifying thing of all became apparent. It had worked a treat. Now, I don't have thin lips. They're full and shapely and lip plumping has never been a priority, but the little lift of the Soap and Glory number - well, it was sexy.
But the maggots - they weren't so hot. Off it came. De-Angelina'd I skip back to Darphin. 'Til next week.